


So Close...

by alisha_mendelsohn



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Mention of SnowJay, One Shot, Rewrite of s2e09, The Flash (TV 2014) Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25233550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alisha_mendelsohn/pseuds/alisha_mendelsohn
Summary: A rewrite of the season 2 midseason finale "Running to Stand Still" with Snowharry!
Relationships: Caitlin Snow/Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	So Close...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ageless_aislynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ageless_aislynn/gifts).



> *waves* I'm still here! I haven't written for Snowells in four years now, but I found this in my incomplete fics folder and I just... finished it last night?

Caitlin finds him in the most unexpected of places in S.T.A.R. Labs that night; it’s Christmas Eve and he’s found refuge on the roof, leaning against the wall near one of the generators, staring out at the city. The view is breathtaking and within seconds of being up there, she realizes why Harry’s chosen this spot - for the immense silence, to escape the celebrations, and have a moment to himself. That she would choose to come up here and sit down beside him, does seem like she may be intruding on his personal space; the thought has occurred to her, but Caitlin also knows just how chilly it is.

“I come bearing gifts.” She tells him, indicating to the two blankets in her arms and a thermos of freshly brewed hot cocoa from the West household that she had accepted on her way out.

Harry turns around when he hears her speak, but if he’s surprised to see her there or wondering how she found out where he was, Caitlin doesn’t get a response from him other than a slight nod of his head, which she assumes is his way of saying it’s okay to join him. It’s not an unexpected reaction, Caitlin understands as much and so she keeps quiet too, walking over to where he sits, wrapping a blanket around herself and leaving one for him to take. Only when she hands him a mug of hot chocolate does he mutter a soft ‘thanks’ before going back to… whatever it is he’s doing… thinking about Jesse perhaps.

There is something oddly peaceful about this situation, Caitlin decides a quarter of an hour into the quietness. She’s had the opportunity to simply relax, have a warm drink and gaze at the stars or watch the snowfall cover the city like a blanket too. Harry hasn’t said anything to her but she respects his privacy; it also gives her a chance to observe  _ him _ a little more. There’s always something on her mind when she’s around him, a question or a curiosity about the other world, a whole new Earth that he belongs to; is Christmas celebrated differently over there? And Easter? Halloween? Valentine’s Day? Are there different holidays that are unique to Earth-2? What are the similarities between Central City there and here? Were the seasons different? Those are just the general questions Caitlin thinks about sometimes. And then there are the more personal ones - what would Harry be doing right now if he was back home on Earth-2 with Jesse? Was he married to the same woman the real Harrison Wells here had been married to? Or was she someone else? Could she be alive on this Earth? Does he know if  _ she _ has a doppelganger? Does he  _ know _ the other Caitlin Snow?

“Something on your mind Snow?” He says at last, breaking the silence between them, startling Caitlin for a second as she wonders if he can read her mind.

“Oh. No, umm… nothing. I was just thinking.” She answers him, a little too quickly perhaps, but if he picks up on that, he chooses to say nothing about it and keeps the conversation going as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. 

“About the party?” Harry muses quietly, “You left there pretty early didn’t you? Ramon said you’d all be out late tonight.” 

“Yeah, I guess… I just wasn’t feeling the Christmas cheer much.” Caitlin gives a noncommittal shrug and takes a sip of cocoa, feeling the warmth settle her nerves.

“Christmas is overrated if you ask me.”

“Yeah, you can say that again.”

That much is true, Caitlin still knows this time is a little hard on her, the nostalgia over everything that had happened resurfaces in her mind every now and then - the particle accelerator explosion two years ago, losing Ronnie for the first time, thinking that her life and career were pretty much over, learning her boss was paralyzed, taking care of a comatose Barry, followed by finding Ronnie again exactly a year to this date, seeing the Reverse Flash but not knowing who he was until it was too late, realizing that the man she had once looked up to had betrayed not just her, but the entire team as well - it’s safe to say Caitlin doesn’t look forward to the holiday season anymore. This year seemed to be a little different, a little more positive and maybe that’s what scared her away; she suddenly remembers the kiss with Jay with a start, as if she’d forgotten it for the time that she’s been up here with Harry. Wasn’t that exactly why she had left the party early? To think about what that meant? Then how did she already forget it? Why was she not with Jay at this moment? There were too many thoughts all too soon and Caitlin didn’t even think before she just closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall, trying to silence the noise inside her mind. 

“Caitlin?” Harry’s voice is soft as he turns to face her, and reaches out a hand but stops himself, “Are you all right?” He asks instead.

“I’m okay.” She says and opens her eyes and almost lets out a squeal when she sees that he’s moved closer to her, not that she minds, she just… didn’t… expect to see Harry’s bright blue eyes staring at her with a look of worry reflected in them.

“If you need to talk, about anything.” He says to her, the sincerity in his voice rings loud and clear and Caitlin knows he means it.

“I know.” Nodding to him, she sighs deeply, his voice is calming in a way that she hasn’t felt before in a long time. “And if you need to talk…” She says, about to mention Jesse’s name, but she doesn’t need to, for he interrupts her mid sentence.

“Yeah… thanks…” Harry gives her a half smile and for a moment the two of them fall back into a comfortable silence. 

She tries not to compare as she watches him out of the corner of her eye; she knows that he isn’t Ronnie, he isn’t Jay, but most of all, he isn’t...  _ him.  _ It seems almost absurd to ask him to keep talking, because even though it’s helping her… she doesn’t want to make it awkward… not when they’ve finally found some semblance of a… friendship with each other.  _ Are we friends _ ? She thinks and maybe she doesn’t know the answer to it yet, but somehow, she gathers up her courage and speaks.

“There was something that I wanted to ask.” 

“Of course.”

“What is it like, Christmas time I mean, back home. For you?” 

There’s a hint of a smile playing across Harry’s lips when he hears her question, as if he had been waiting for someone to ask him about this all along, he doesn’t seem to mind. And so he starts to talk, his face turned away from Caitlin as he stares out at the sight in front of them, seeing the moon shining in the sky, with the stars twinkling above them, half hidden by clouds. They can see that Central City is lit up tonight; it isn’t snowing just yet, and there are carolers walking on the streets, soft sounds that are too far away for them to really hear, there’ll be fireworks too maybe, but for now, all is silent except for Harry’s voice as he regales Caitlin with tales of Earth-2, the differences and the similarities in the holiday there, the traditions he and Jesse have started by themselves, about the presents they’ve given each other over the years. 

He talks to her and for a while, Caitlin forgets about everything else. All the questions can wait. All the doubts fade from her mind. All the worries don’t seem that important anymore. And even though she doesn’t know it - maybe he’ll tell her one day - but having the chance to talk to her about everything gives Harry a chance to forget about everything too. Midnight comes and goes, at some point they might have wished each other a ‘Merry Christmas’ or they will eventually anyway, but neither of them quite remembers to check the time, they’ll go back downstairs once the cold gets too much… for now… it’s just him and Caitlin, sitting side by side as they drink hot chocolate, simply just being in each other’s company. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already sent this to you on tumblr but I had to post it bc you inspired me to get back to writing Aislynn! thank you so much! ❤︎❤︎❤︎


End file.
